New Year, First Cycle

January 7, 2008

1:30 a.m.
Keaton was born a healthy, lovely little boy, and at almost 11 months, he is at his cutest – staring wide-eyed at everyone, wrinkling his nose, showing his teeth, amazed at the smallest things about life. No one on this earth can seriously look at him and not smile. His existence is a constant reminder of the possibilities that lie ahead for us.

The actual process of a gestational surrogacy is worlds away from the romantic notion behind that first amazing offer. It is far more than just a friend making an enormously generous offering. It starts with that offer and then is put in the hands of lawyers, whose job it is to draft an agreement that boldly attempts to consider all possible scenarios: what if the gestational carrier is reckless with her diet and lifestyle during the pregnancy? What if the pregnancy is doomed and we want her to abort, yet she decides (since it is ultimately her decision – it is her body) against terminating? What if there are more than two babies in her womb and we need to consider selective reduction? What if we both die while she carries our child? These scenarios swirl about in our brains and open up the door to other possible scenarios not considered in the first draft: what if Sheona carries twins and ends up with a flaccid belly that diet and exercise cannot help? What if there are physical and/or psychological complications post birth? What if Jon’s job in Vancouver is renewed another season? And so the draft agreement has gone back and forth and back again, and has still not been signed. The good news is that we have arrived at what we think is an agreement and we are now only awaiting the lawyer’s draft, Sheona and Jon’s lawyer to review it with them and us all to finally sign the contract. It would certainly be ideal if this all happened tomorrow, for instance, since I got my period earlier today!

OK, so I was expecting my period to arrive on the 8th more or less. Emotionally, I have been a bit “dormant” for the last 2 years, through Sheona’s offer, pregnancy and birth, through the entire legal process, which came with its share of drama, and through the holidays, knowing the time was near. Then, today, I get my period and I immediately go into baby making mode. Incredible. I mean, I am still by no means convinced that this will happen. I have been fighting back the feeling of excitement for so long, reliving every moment of excitement and subsequent dread, disappointment and grief I went through in each of my five pregnancies, yet all of a sudden a little dose of excitement has made it through my defense mechanism and I have started to believe this could be for real. This could be it. Our time to find out has arrived!

Our lawyers are aware of the start of my cycle, I have informed the clinic and Sheona and Jon and we are all on tenterhooks, waiting for word on the final draft agreement.

Tomorrow I will see my hematologist to etch a plan for my anticoagulation during the egg production and retrieval stage. Last I heard, I would need to switch from warfarin to fragmin, which has a shorter half life, so can be shut off just before they stick a needle in my abdomen to retrieve the eggs. I also found out that, regrettably, I would need to go on prednisone to suppress my immune system and boost my platelet count before the retrieval procedure. The procedure should happen around my birthday, February 18, so I imagine the prednisone will not be necessary until I am started on the Lupron, to suppress my ovulation, on January 26. From that point on, from what I gather from the Internet, we continue on Lupron until I get a period with ovulation suppressed, around February 2nd. Then I am started on Puregon, to stimulate follicular development, and I go in for daily cycle monitoring with blood tests and ultrasounds. When things are optimal on both blood results and ultrasound findings (meaning the hormone levels are where they need to be and if I have enough eggs), I give myself a single shot of hCG, a hormone that acts as luteinizing hormone and prepares the follicles to release their eggs. But, before this happens, the good doctors poke me with a giant needle and steal the eggs from both ovaries, in order to perform in vitro fertilization with Andrés’s sperm. Five days later, they will transfer two of the surviving embryos into Sheona’s womb and freeze the remaining embryos (hopefully, we have a few left over– maybe 5? – so we can try again if the first time doesn’t work, without having to harvest more eggs). If all goes according to this tentative calendar, we will be finding out if the pregnancy “took” towards the end of February or beginning of March.

But let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. Right now, we have no signed agreement and I have only just started my first cycle of the year. There is still so much to find out and experience before we can get to that point. A year filled with possibilities has begun.