My Birthday

February 18

Today is my birthday. I’m 34.

I was very blue on Saturday. We got the bad news of the cycle cancellation on Friday and were immediately thrown into a whirlwind of “parenting” activities, since we were taking care of Sheona and Jon’s babes while they had a night away from home for their anniversary. So we really didn’t have much time to digest the news until Saturday afternoon, by which time we were both completely knackered from being – well – parents, in a sense.

We had a great time with their kids. They are both adorable little ones, so well-behaved and funny, but it’s tiring to say the least, and also they’re not ours, we weren’t in our own house, we had just gotten bad news, I was EXTREMELY hormonal and well... just bad timing I guess.

Yesterday I had a day of “therapy” tidying up the basement. It really is amazing how good it makes you feel to throw stuff out and organize and clean and then look back and see the result. Our basement hasn’t looked this good in two years and it’s still not done. I’m planning on finishing today, with the “little” things, categorizing nuts and screws and bits. I know it doesn’t sound like anything fun, but it’s good for the mind. As you go finding a “home” for each little thing, you are sorting your thoughts and finding homes for them too.

And God knows I have a lot of thoughts to sort through these days, like what’s next, is it worth it, will it happen and when. I’m having to dig very deep within me and find every ounce of hidden patience I have left. After eight years of trying, of yearning, of dreaming, of the biggest rollercoaster ride imaginable, it really takes every ounce.