Too Soon to Call

April 4

Yesterday, day 6 of stimulation (the halfway point), didn’t go as well as expected. I started to stimulate on March 29, after having an ultrasound and seeing that I was starting off with only 5, perhaps 6 follicles – 2 on the right ovary and 3, maybe 4 on the left ovary. It seemed low to me, especially since the previous cycle I started off with 11 potential follicles and the number did not change with stimulation. Was it even worth it to begin to stimulate? But Dr. Laskin said not to worry, that stimulation could change that number, we wouldn’t know until day 6 really.

So, off we went, Sheona with her estrace pills, me with my puregon and menopur injections, and my day 4 blood work looked good. Then, yesterday, the 2 on the right ovary had become 5, but since they were all under 1 mm, they weren’t counted as “potential”. The three maybe four on the left had become three good ones, leading the pack.

The scenario seems similar to the previous one. I predict I’ll have three dominant follicles on the left side, not enough to retrieve of course, and that the five on the other side will be inhibited by these three and not come online. Apparently, I have a lazy right ovary, since it was also the underdog last cycle.

Having said that, the difference between day 6 and day 8 can be like night and day sometimes, so we were told to go for another 2 days and see. I don’t think it will happen, but you never know. Tomorrow we’ll know for sure.

Meanwhile, I spoke to the nurse today on the phone. She told me that Dr. Laskin was concerned for my stimulation results and that he believes that if things don’t change, I should be considered a “low responder” and switched to a “flare” protocol. They can’t do a flare protocol until they’ve seen two understimulated cycles, because they run the risk of hyperstimulating, which is very dangerous. A part of me feels like screaming in frustration, but a part of me knows that they couldn’t have predicted this to a scientific tee before now. This is no magic trick. All bodies respond differently. It just bugs me the way it mirrors what happened with my miscarriages. The first loss is always considered “bad luck”. It happens. The second one is what triggers a closer look. Losses happen for a series of reasons: infections, structural issues, hormones and/or immune issues. After my second loss, I underwent the first line of tests to see what could be wrong and I tested positive for a bacterial infection. They cleared it out with antibiotics and we tried again. When I lost that third pregnancy, they reassessed: they had resolved the infection, ascertained no structural or endocrine issues. The loss was, by default, an immune issue. I was referred to Dr. Laskin for a more specific look at my immune system. Unfortunately, my immune issue was never diagnosed, as happens with immune disorders. After five losses we had to content ourselves with just knowing the facts: my womb shuts down after about week 15, so I could never carry to term. I think we all know that it won’t take five tries this time.

No point in speculating now... more tomorrow.