Sleepless in Toronto

June 13

Well, today’s update won’t go online until tomorrow, unfortunately, because although my computer can see the downtown wireless network and it’s showing five full bars, my computer just cannot connect to it. Bummer.

It’s 8:30 pm and I’m sitting by Andrés’s bed in his semi-private room. He’s sharing it with an older gentleman whose wife will also be playing Florence Nightingale tonight, like me. We wanted a private room, but no such luck... Even though we’re willing to pay for it, there just wasn’t one to put him in. In fact, when I arrived this morning, they didn’t even have a semi-private room to put him in. The poor thing had had yet another rough night and his eyes were puffy; his back was killing him. The day ahead looked really grim.

After many interventions and much string pulling (thanks Elizabeth!), we still had no luck. But then I went to get him ice chips and noticed that the room across the hall was being cleaned and the bed was being made with clean sheets. So I ran back to Florida (our nurse) and asked her to inquire. The answer was that the room was reserved for a female patient and that they couldn’t put a man and a woman in the same room. Andrés was desperate, and everyone around him was beginning to feel his grief. Thank God Florida was so persistent. In the end, she bugged the coordinator so much that they finally gave in to her and put Andrés in that room. Now, his snoring is music to my ears.

10:45 pm
A storm just went right past the hospital. Andrés’s blinds don’t work, so I got to watch the lightning. I love the rumble of thunder and the rain tapping against the window. I silently thanked Mother Nature for helping out. Rain means I don’t need to water the lawn, which means one less thing to do. Meanwhile, Andrés slept sort of erratically. He was up a short while ago and we went for a few “laps” around the floor. Now he’s back in bed, snoring away. Perfect. So far, so good.

June 14

2 PM

Back at home, at least I am. Lucas is at Sheona and Jon’s (thanks so much, guys!) and the house feels really empty without my family. Last night turned out to be pretty horrendous. Andrés just couldn’t sleep. He kept pressing the button to give himself another hit of the pain meds, because early on they had made him sleepy, but now they were making him restless. He continued to complain about back pain. He (we) would sleep for 10, 20, 30, maximum 40 minute intervals, followed by a walk up and down really brightly lit and barren hallways... not pleasant at all. At one point he broke down and said he wanted to give up, to just go home. As if he had the option to... poor guy. Around 4 am, I convinced him to stop pumping the meds and a few hours later he had an hour of deep sleep after which he told me he needed to “recover from it”. A lot had to do with lack of curtains, so I’m hooking him up with some (courtesy of Karlox, my dear sis).
This morning the doctor saw him and was happy about his progress. She’s so cheerful; she really brightens up the room with her good news. Then she leaves and Andrés is back in his head. He has got to find the patience and the strength within him to get through this. External aids only last so much. The final conclusion was that we would stop the narcotics in the epidural but keep the anesthesia in to prevent him from feeling pain from his incision. Then, the only sleep aids he’ll have will be Ativan and Gravol. That should do the trick (fingers crossed!). Another bit of good news: some tubes and wires have been removed! Early yesterday morning they removed the nose tube and the wires to the monitors. This morning they removed the arterial feed and later today (or perhaps already) they were going to remove the foley, so he could try and pee on his own. All that’s left after that is the JP, which they will leave until he starts on food to see how much is being drained from the site, and the IV, which once he starts fluids in earnest, they will likely remove too. At that point he could shower comfortably and get up for walks pretty much hassle free.

Finally, today they OK’d him to start clear fluids, such as broth and ginger ale. He took two sips of ginger ale before I left, but wasn’t a fan. I came home and made him a proper chicken broth, which I’m hoping he’ll want to sip on later today, when I head back.

I am completely exhausted, and I know that we are likely over the hump, but I’m too tired to process it. I’m headed to bed for an hour long nap and then back to the hospital for the evening and overnight shift.

One note to everyone who has called and emailed: thank you so much for your lovely and sweet messages. I know you probably already guessed this, but I can’t have the cellphone on in the hospital. Also, we decided against a phone in the room because of the noise. So I apologize for not being able to return your calls or answer your emails. But I thank you all very much for your support, wisdom and love.

In terms of visitors, I think that he is still way too tired to visit with anybody. I would like to see him have a good night of sleep before I give the general OK. And when you come, please keep your visits short and sweet (maximum 10-15 minutes). He won’t tell you when he’s tired and he’ll be over exerting himself to keep up with conversation when what he desperately needs right now is to rest.

Well, that’s all for today. More tomorrow...